The erotic appeal of the Lands’ End catalog.

Personal Inventory

The erotic appeal of the Lands’ End catalog.

by James Stegall

November 20, 2007

The Lands’ End Fall catalog is porn for the heartsick man. Who thought sixty pages of stylish-yet-practical clothing would employ models that are disturbing approximations of the lovely, thirty-something woman who doesn’t want to put up with your shit anymore?

But there she is: kicking leaves on a crisp day, sipping coffee in an immaculate breakfast nook, nestling a golden baby and smiling like the most perfect family photo on a young executive’s desk.

These are images more invasive than any Victoria’s Secret spread, because they don’t inspire lust. This is a pornography of regret, and the longer you stare, the more seductive it becomes. These sixty pages are a self-pity trap; any sane lonely man would do well to avoid them.

But there it waits in the mailbox — two copies, in fact — waiting to snap its poisoned jaws. Why am I receiving this? you might ask. Then you remember that she bought products from his company, and on first glance it’s easy to see why: this is Spiegel-light, clothing for the multi-tasking young mom when she’s not wearing Petite Sophisticate at the office.

These women have long green fields waiting fuzzily in the background. They gaze into the distance; they smile ruminatively downward; they hold confident eye contact with the camera. These are women who aren’t afraid to wear flannel pajamas. They are comfortable in their roles as accomplished, sexy everything-women.

You have to look closer to see what truly makes the models special, though, what elevates them above Victoria’s Secret: they have wrinkles around their eyes. These women have laugh lines, taut necks, and that slight tummy that can be so, so sexy. These are not the airbrushed dolls of ignorant fantasy. These women are real.

And their eyes: Is it pain in their eyes? Are there any illusions left there — about life, about men?

©2007 James Stegall and Nerve.com

[This essay progresses in language meant for adults and includes images from Land's End: "Personal Inventory: the erotic appeal of the Lands' End catalog" – Thank you Sarah!]